Sitting in a gazebo all weekend at a local family event, I got to do a lot of people-watching. The most enjoyable part was seeing people use our standees for pictures (above). An old-fashioned carnival kind of attraction, these forms where kids (and adults) could stick their faces in and get a picture were an irresistible draw to our booth.

Since we had The Princess and the Kiss, The Squire and the Scroll and The Three Gifts of Christmas available for kids, we also had a table of toys – a plastic sword, a tiara, a dragon and a mirror with a crown built in to make the viewer an instant princess.

It’s always fun to take on an imaginary identity – we love masquerade parties and dressing up like superheroes. But when PurityWorks hosts a Planned Purity event, even our simple interactive play is designed to draw participants back to their TRUE identity.

We are royalty.

We were made for honor, nobility, service, goodness, truth and beauty, nothing less. Boys and men are meant to be protectors. That’s why the Squire sets out to conquer a dragon and free a kingdom.

​Girls and women are meant to be treasures. That’s why the Princess courageously saves her kiss for a Prince and no less.

We were made to care for others more than ourselves. That’s why the little princess in The Three Gifts ends up giving her Christmas gifts away.

Unfortunately, our dangerous world coaxes boys into being predators and girls into being willing targets. It teaches us that we should selfishly pursue everything and enjoy instant gratification without self-control. This foolishness must stop immediately, and we must fight
​our own personal battles with all our hearts to change it, checking ourselves and putting others first.

Nonetheless, this weekend I saw many people step into their true identities and smile – even one older lady and her husband. She knew she was a princess, and so did he. What a gift!

​When we walk like royalty, talk like royalty, and act like royalty and set our hearts to serve as humble benefactors, fighting for the good, defending the weak and needy, we find who we were truly made to be. Our virtue is restored. We can put the past behind us and operate more like human beings and less like animals.

​In fact, when we see ourselves truly, our world can be restored as we regain a culture of honor. That is what PurityWorks fights for, and always will.

Hey, you, beloved ones who had as much to do with the resulting children as we did: Maybe you’ve been told all your life you’re not as verbally equipped as the girls. But you still can communicate with the kids when it comes to building foundations for responsible relationships and sexuality. It’s actually your job, and it can be accomplished with or without words.

1.     The way you treat mom is the way your son and daughter will know how to treat or be treated as a man or woman. The way you speak, pull out a chair, plan a date, spend time … or don’t … is their training video for interaction now and when they start to date.

2.     Shop with your sons and daughters. Tell your girl what’s pretty and what’s too short or too tight (respectfully, gently, firmly). Tell your son how to dress with style, class and practicality. Your input will make a deeper impact than mom’s.

3.     Set boundaries on technology. Protect the family from pornography and related explicit material, including those that teach violence or disrespect. Don’t use tech as a babysitter. Know what your kids are watching. Watch and use tech with them. Be in their world.

4.     Know your kids’ friends. Especially those of the opposite sex. Very well.

5.     Don’t pass off the spiritual development to Mom. This may seem like a touchy-feely kind of thing, but matters of right and wrong and spiritual practices are way more “sticky” when dad practices them and requires family participation.

6.     Help with the housework. Yes, you may come home tired, but don’t just plop on the couch for the night. Show your kids what practical love looks like.

7.     Do your part in the “awkward” conversations. Yes, the “words” part. The woman’s perspective isn’t complete without the man’s. At an age-appropriate level, give your two cents, briefly, intentionally. You can do it.

8.     Date your daughter. Show her how an honorable man treats a lady. Do man things with your son. Give him purpose and teach him the value of hard work.

9.     Show affection to mom and your kids, often. Each one needs hugs, fist-bumps, loving phrases and smiles. It’s free. It’s really important. And it fills a love-tank that could otherwise be hungry and receive inappropriate affection.

10.     Pray. This thing is bigger than you and mom together. Be courageous enough to ask help from a higher source.

Who doesn’t get shivers just reading that first line? (I’d like to meet you.)

Good news, parents! Once we understand that sexual integrity results from a pure heart, we recognize that we have a lot of freedom to talk about how to keep a heart clean waaaay before we start in on the birds and the bees. And it’s so easy, using a simple tool that is a key element of what we call Planned Purity: The Five Doors of the Heart.

You can make your own Five Doors poster just like the one in the picture. We make hundreds of them to use in the US and on international trips as well.

When we teach little guys and gals, we explain that our hearts have five doors, and they are our senses. They lead right to our hearts. So what we decide to let in or keep out is what makes us the kind of person we are: selfish or a servant.

Our children need the reminder to close their eyes to bad things and open them to good things. Then we can keep pointing out what those things are and explaining why as they come up. (Avoid the “big talk” misnomer and go for the “long conversation.”)

The same for the ears. We close our ears to bad things, and open them to good things. Even our preschoolers know that there are some pretty nasty song lyrics out there.

We relate the sense of smell to our breath. We honor, respect and protect anything that lives and breathes. We nurture plants, care for pets, and love on babies and old people and those who seem “different.”

Then there’s that pesky mouth. Obviously, we open our mouths to say good things and close them to keep from saying bad things. You get to define what the bad things are.

The sense of touch at this stage is as easy as a little sing-songy saying: “No hitting, no kicking, lots of hugs!” Of course, privacy can be taught, too, so that a child knows they have the right to say “no” to touch.

Have fun teaching the Five Doors to your kids, and start now. They’ve already seen and heard more than you think. And what’s cool is this:  when they get to the age of having more interest in the opposite sex, you can get the poster out again, and use the s-e-x word.

But that's another blog.  :)