Who doesn’t get shivers just reading that first line? (I’d like to meet you.)

Good news, parents! Once we understand that sexual integrity results from a pure heart, we recognize that we have a lot of freedom to talk about how to keep a heart clean waaaay before we start in on the birds and the bees. And it’s so easy, using a simple tool that is a key element of what we call Planned Purity: The Five Doors of the Heart.

You can make your own Five Doors poster just like the one in the picture. We make hundreds of them to use in the US and on international trips as well.

When we teach little guys and gals, we explain that our hearts have five doors, and they are our senses. They lead right to our hearts. So what we decide to let in or keep out is what makes us the kind of person we are: selfish or a servant.

Our children need the reminder to close their eyes to bad things and open them to good things. Then we can keep pointing out what those things are and explaining why as they come up. (Avoid the “big talk” misnomer and go for the “long conversation.”)

The same for the ears. We close our ears to bad things, and open them to good things. Even our preschoolers know that there are some pretty nasty song lyrics out there.

We relate the sense of smell to our breath. We honor, respect and protect anything that lives and breathes. We nurture plants, care for pets, and love on babies and old people and those who seem “different.”

Then there’s that pesky mouth. Obviously, we open our mouths to say good things and close them to keep from saying bad things. You get to define what the bad things are.

The sense of touch at this stage is as easy as a little sing-songy saying: “No hitting, no kicking, lots of hugs!” Of course, privacy can be taught, too, so that a child knows they have the right to say “no” to touch.

Have fun teaching the Five Doors to your kids, and start now. They’ve already seen and heard more than you think. And what’s cool is this:  when they get to the age of having more interest in the opposite sex, you can get the poster out again, and use the s-e-x word.

But that's another blog.  :)

Father’s Day is coming up and most of us are wracking our brains to think of an original gift for Dad. Our minds check off the standard ideas: hamburgers or steak on the grill, a meal out, a tie, a T-shirt or sports jersey, more tools …

But even more than tired, stereotypical gifts, men need to know that they’re needed, and respected … even more than they need to know they’re loved.

Servicemen earn ceremony and medals. Boy scouts work their tails off to become Eagle Scouts, because they gain respect. Businessmen climb the corporate ladder to gain admiration. And dads need respect just for being husbands and parents … and we usually DO respect them … but we don’t SAY it very often. We’re more likely to send a funny card.

But it can be a tragedy if we wait to say the important things until it’s too late.

My husband was one of the fortunate ones. His father died of an unexpected heart attack. For years the two of them had been estranged, but a few years before we lost him, an important phone call took place that involved sorrow and tears and healing. When Dad passed on, the words had all been said.

It often takes some kind of tragedy for us to speak up and share what someone means to us, but really, if we’re practicing Planned Purity and guarding the door of the breath, it shouldn’t be that way. We should be saying how much we appreciate each other every day, because tomorrow isn’t promised. And most of all, we should be saying so to our family members.

A friend of mine who says he has spent “way too much time telling a body in a casket how much that person meant to him” started an effort called Honor Someone Now, and I would encourage you to take advantage of that free service for Father’s Day and for many other occasions to do just that.

Tell your dad what he’s meant to you. Tell your mom what she did that made you who you are today. Tell a teacher, a friend or a mentor that they changed your life forever.

Obviously, no one is perfect. But if you want your own heart to be honorable, choose to call out the honorable deeds in your dad and others. It won’t just change them, it will change you. The way you honor life and breath is a venue to the formation of your own heart, and as you honor, you become honorable yourself.

So for Dad’s Day this year, really surprise him. Give him the gift of respect.

Then make a list. There are a lot more honorees in your life, and a lot more than needs to happen in each of our hearts. Imagine what the world would be like if each of us honored just one person a month. Yeah. Pretty different.

Give it a try. Visit www.honorsomeonenow.com - now.

I always planned to be married, and both my husband’s parents and my own were married to their original spouses until they died. Our grandparents were, too. I never had reason to question the value of the institution.

Then I wrote a little story called The Princess and the Kiss, and became embroiled in discussions about marriage and sexuality. Over a half-million people own the book, and many call it their favorite.

I had no idea that the book would raise so much controversy. Some mistook the story to mean that unless they saved their first physical kiss for marriage, they were damaged goods, and they wrote angry blogs. Some railed against the shaming effects of such “impossible” standards.

Some took the symbolism of the book to other ridiculous extremes, saying that the kiss (depicted in the story as a light in a bell jar) represented certain private parts of the female body, and devalued women.

But the story is simply an ideal. Obviously, relationships, dating, courtship and marriage aren’t that neat and tidy. The book ends with the wedding, which seems handy because it avoids any conflict that might follow in the reality of a married relationship. My intent was simply to depict the beauty of restraint and consideration in choosing a spouse wisely and beginning a family.

Men and women do long to be connected and raise families, in real life. They do long to be treasured by one person for a lifetime. They do long to have babies, pass on a family name, be part of a history and leave a legacy. And marriage can do all those things, though the process is much messier than this sweet story, and often very costly.

Interestingly, that messy, costly path hasn’t stopped people from pursuing the ideal.

The Princess and its companion book for boys, The Squire and the Scroll, has been made into a musical, a drama, ballet, puppet shows and readers’ theater. Some of those performances have unexpectedly drawn hundreds of people.

This week I received a note from a new friend in El Salvador. I knew that she had been working on a drama of The Princess that she planned to present to an audience of 1-200 people. I had seen the efforts to advertise the production and was impressed, looking forward to their success.

Their success came in the form of 600 unexpected guests, for a total audience of 800.

Why? Why does this simple story continue to draw the attention of families all over the world … in Nigeria, Namibia, Australia, India, Nicaragua, the Dominican Republic, and of course the US?

Because men and women will always long to be connected and raise families. They long to be treasured by one person for a lifetime. They long to have babies, pass on a family name, be part of a history and leave a legacy. And traditional marriage is the only institution that holds the possibility of all of those things.

THANK YOU to my friends in San Salvador for celebrating that hope and desire again. My heart is for you.