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Ten Ways for Dads to Teach Sexual Integrity (Without Talking About Sex)

7/21/2015

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Hey, you, beloved ones who had as much to do with the resulting children as we did: Maybe you’ve been told all your life you’re not as verbally equipped as the girls. But you still can communicate with the kids when it comes to building foundations for responsible relationships and sexuality. It’s actually your job, and it can be accomplished with or without words.

1.     The way you treat mom is the way your son and daughter will know how to treat or be treated as a man or woman. The way you speak, pull out a chair, plan a date, spend time … or don’t … is their training video for interaction now and when they start to date.

2.     Shop with your sons and daughters. Tell your girl what’s pretty and what’s too short or too tight (respectfully, gently, firmly). Tell your son how to dress with style, class and practicality. Your input will make a deeper impact than mom’s.

3.     Set boundaries on technology. Protect the family from pornography and related explicit material, including those that teach violence or disrespect. Don’t use tech as a babysitter. Know what your kids are watching. Watch and use tech with them. Be in their world.

4.     Know your kids’ friends. Especially those of the opposite sex. Very well.

5.     Don’t pass off the spiritual development to Mom. This may seem like a touchy-feely kind of thing, but matters of right and wrong and spiritual practices are way more “sticky” when dad practices them and requires family participation.

6.     Help with the housework. Yes, you may come home tired, but don’t just plop on the couch for the night. Show your kids what practical love looks like.

7.     Do your part in the “awkward” conversations. Yes, the “words” part. The woman’s perspective isn’t complete without the man’s. At an age-appropriate level, give your two cents, briefly, intentionally. You can do it.

8.     Date your daughter. Show her how an honorable man treats a lady. Do man things with your son. Give him purpose and teach him the value of hard work.

9.     Show affection to mom and your kids, often. Each one needs hugs, fist-bumps, loving phrases and smiles. It’s free. It’s really important. And it fills a love-tank that could otherwise be hungry and receive inappropriate affection.

10.     Pray. This thing is bigger than you and mom together. Be courageous enough to ask help from a higher source.
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