More is not always better. Constant entertainment can sap our own creativity and make us more sedentary. An ongoing news feed keeps us aware of not only minute-by-minute drama among friends and acquaintances, but anxiety-producing issues around the entire world! Boundaries help us sort out what’s really worthwhile in all this information and stimulation.

Technology is good, just like food is good. But both need limits for a healthy life.

When our eating habits get out of control, we ingest smaller portions or choose to put certain foods off limits. Technology overload is no different. Here are ten ideas on how to take “tech breaks” to get back into balance.

1.  Check phones and devices at the door. Many families are choosing to turn in phones after school and work to protect family time. Once the phones are on the chargers, the night is for homework, meal and family time. Require that homework on the computer be done in a common area.

2.  Check phones and devices at events. Having a party? Let kids and parents know their phones and devices will be checked until pick-up time. Have a basket ready!

3.  Plan your next adult gathering tech-free. Let invitees know that phones will be stored to allow everyone to spend time together. Play charades or use some conversation starters that include everyone. Wouldn’t that be a great trend?

4.  Have one night a week that is technology free. Family or couple or single, choose to engage that night without the TV, without the computer, without phones. Get creative, take a walk, play a board game, bake or cook supper together.

5.  Set a regular time of night that all phone and online communication ends. Phones are gathered and held by mom and dad unless permission is asked. Talking to a boyfriend or girlfriend until a child falls asleep is never a good idea. Call it “sleeping together,” and just say no.

6.  Plan a tech-free vacation. No, it’s not crazy. You need this. Schedule a single movie, or two. Have one phone on hand for emergencies and pictures. Leave the rest at home. Swim, walk, talk, sleep in, play games, explore, and learn to share and work together. It doesn’t have to be every vacation. Just one (or even a part of one!)

7.  Wait longer to give phones and/or devices to kids. A child’s first phone should be used for emergencies only. Know exactly what the phone is capable of FIRST. If it’s higher tech than you’re willing to manage, buy a simpler phone. Teach your child that a phone is a not an appropriate status symbol, but a tool that requires great responsibility and can be taken away at any time.

8.  Don’t hesitate to remove a phone or device from any child’s possession if they are young enough to live in your house. If you are paying for the phone, you decide how it’s to be used. If they are paying for the phone, you still make the house rules. A phone is not required for survival. Do not award a phone to a child without the character to manage it honorably.

9.  Set limits on your own phone and devices. Check phone messages, email or social networks at limited times during the day.

10.  Choose ring tones that alert you to calls from family members. This allows you to be available to your kids, spouse or parents while saving other conversations for later.

Some of these ideas may sound daunting at first, but start with an easy one and work up. You may be surprised at the changes you see, and at how much you’ve been missing. So what are you waiting for? Make some tech-free plans today!

Have you shown your child a video featuring them when they were younger? How young? How about when they were in the womb?

Nothing says we have to launch into a “sex talk” when our kids ask about a baby’s beginnings. But we have the opportunity and responsibility in our hyper-sexualized culture to share what we can—before the culture does, building bridges to and foundations for more intimate conversations in the future.

For example:

• Babies grow in the mother’s uterus, not her tummy. It’s helpful to know that the baby isn’t growing in the same place that food goes. Uterus is a big, funny, word. Your child will love it!
• Just a single picture of a baby in the womb can open an entire conversation: “That’s just what happened to you!”
• Videos or presentations are available online that show the incredible process of a sperm and egg combining and developing into a fully developed baby. Parents and children can watch together in wonder, beginning at any point of development, or stopping to admire any stage.
• Teaching the accurate names for private parts of the body matter-of-factly protects a child from shame. It also opens the path for a discussion about modesty and why we let other moms and dads tell their children about their own bodies. (If a friend asks a question about private matters, we could teach our child to say, “Ask your mom or dad. That’s who I talk to.”)

Yes, more questions may follow. We can consider how to answer them very simply and factually, beginning with the important starter, “What do you think?” so we know what our child is really concerned about. But our answers may also be, “I don’t know, but I can find out. Isn’t it amazing?” And that may be enough (and give you time to do your homework.)

The point is to show a child that life is a beautiful miracle as well as a series of biological events. It also introduces them to their own personal history. They are unlike anyone else who is or ever was, and they are worth more than anything money can buy.

Making the human body an unforgettable part of your child’s early training not only feeds their curiosity, but keeps them looking to you as a source of information and introduces them gradually to deeper or more intimate subjects as they grow emotionally. They will remember your time together, and the wonder and the safety they felt as they asked questions.

Whether you know it or not, you are the expert. Your child is looking to you first and foremost for this information. Beat the culture to it. Train your child to know the facts and build early bridges to talks about sex and integrity as they grow. It all starts with the moments when they discover you are a non-judgmental and trusted source of accurate information.

“How are babies made, Dad?”

“Wow, that’s a great question! I’m glad you asked. Want to watch a video about it with me?”

You’ve got this, Mom and Dad. Conversation by conversation. Easy-peasy.

Failure is part of how we learn. The earlier we come to terms with that, the better we’ll do. The quicker we learn to brush ourselves off, make restitution, and move on, the quicker we’ll find a better option.

As a parent, it’s not always easy, though. Watching your child fail is painful. And as they get older, there’s a tendency to take it personally. DON’T. Your child is still learning and so are you. (If you’re not experiencing failures any longer, let me know—I’d like to hear how you tell THAT story.)

Thus, it’s easy to see our kids do something surprising, disappointing, or outright wrong and think they’ve gone off the deep end—or WE have. We’ve failed as parents, they’ve failed as our children … and in no area is this more important than in the pursuit of purity.

What if your child “fails”? What if they look at porn, send a sext, sneak out of the house, get drunk (while they’re underage), have premarital sex? Chances are, they will. In our culture, it’s very rarely a question of “if.”

So when your angelic child totally changes things up, remind yourself that they are learning. It will help you calm down and not take it personally. Then take a deep breath, and DON’T say …

1.     “I can’t believe you did this!” Really? Maybe you’ve been raising something other than a human being. People are curious. One of your repeated “nos” may likely result in some kind of “I wonder if it’s really that bad” curiosity. And some personalities just have to touch the stove because they’re not sure it’s TRULY hot and will send them to the ER for burn treatment. And burn treatment, though painful, is a powerful lesson learned.

2.     “How could you?” Again, congratulations. You have a real human on your hands. They could because they so wanted to know what it was like. They wanted to experience it. Isn’t that what real living is? Pretty valuable in a low-touch, high-tech culture, even if the results aren’t what we expect. And those results teach a lesson when we seek to engage and talk it over.

3.     Scream, yell and curse. Reinforces the popular belief that parents are crazy or know very little. Breathe. Walk away. Explain that you need to get your emotions in check before you say more. Remind yourself that the same tiny, innocent baby you brought home is still in there somewhere.

4.     Say nothing. Only if you want them to think you condone their behavior, or don’t care. Your child needs and wants your input. Believe it or not, studies show that your child would rather hear the truth from you than any other source. Now is your chance! Seek to understand and then instruct.

5.     “Don’t you have a brain in your head?!” Yes, they do! And it’s probably developing normally. Give it some time. The pre-frontal cortex is still finishing up its development at 24 or 25.

At the point when your child does something hard for you to handle, remember: this is your greatest opportunity to do something positive for them. Not that there won’t be consequences. But there should be mature conversation first, led by a (supposedly mature) adult who is holding back on the emotion and seeking to understand.

And by the way, I can only write this post because I’ve said ALL these wrong things. 52 and still failing. Still learning.

AND NOW:

Some right things:

“I’m really proud of you for being honest enough to tell me.”

“I can see you’re really curious about that. Let’s make some time to talk about it.”

“Wow, that’s intense. I’m not sure what to say except to remind you that I love you no matter what. Can you tell me about what happened?” (Never assume you know exactly what happened. You almost never do.)

“You’re mature enough to be ready to learn about this. Can you tell me what you know and what you’d like to know?”

And the no-brainer: “I love you. Always. No matter what.”