I give credit to Donald Miller for this phrase and honestly can’t think of a better way to describe the life-sucking device we call a television. Wait! Don’t write me off yet. Reading this blog could be the best thing you ever did. Really.

I’m the worst offender when it comes to being distracted by a television set. I have burned dinner, ignored my family, and missed opportunities more times than I can count because of TV or movie watching. Worse, I have a tendency towards depression that is only exacerbated by sitting in front of a TV, then realizing how much time has passed (usually wasted on less-than-quality material).

Yes, as anxious creatures, we need ways to unwind. And from time to time, a well-done bit of entertainment via the boob tube (or computer) could be just the relaxation we need.

But not that often.

What makes me seriously consider the danger of TV watching is recognizing how many of us see it as a default. We come home from work to sit down to TV every night, or we switch on the TV when “nothing else” is going on (besides life), or we use the TV as a babysitter because we’re so very, very tired of our child’s screaming.

We are passive, sitting, not communicating, might-as-well-be-hooked-up-to-an-IV in many cases. It reminds me of the scene in The Matrix when Neo wakes up in the pod, and people all around him are hooked up as unwitting energy-producers.

Do we really want to give the hours of our life away so easily?

Statistics:

• The American Academy of Pediatrics urges parents to remove TVs from children’s rooms. Negative effects: lower grades, less exercise, less healthy food, less family participation. Duh.

• Better Homes and Gardens: “The scientific evidence is absolutely clear: “What children watch on TV and at the movies can have an effect on their behaviors and attitudes and what they think is normal and acceptable.” And I don’t think kids are the only ones.

• Screenwriter Joe Estzterhaus said, “A cigarette in the hands of a Hollywood star is a gun aimed at a 12 or 14 year old.” The same would apply to drug use, promiscuity or pole-dancing. Watching is a step towards finding it “cool” and trying it. We often become what we watch.

• A RAND Corporation study says that adolescents with a high level of television exposure are twice as likely to get pregnant or impregnate someone. Why? Because sexual content is appearing approximately every 10 minutes in general grown-up shows. Monkey see, monkey do.

• John Robinson, a social professor at the University of Maryland, studied 45,000 individuals over a period of 34 years and concluded that the unhappiest were those who watched the most TV.

Need I say more?

Think about your TV viewing. Maybe it’s time to take a break, or dream about what else that time could be used for; to ask, “What did we do before TV?” I know the question is old and worn threadbare. But really … the answers could radically change the rest of our lives. Think about it. Dream about it. Make a plan to do more of what you really want to do before you die. But turn your TV off while you do.

The first question that comes to mind may be—“What IS that?” After all, innocence is something we associate with children. But adults actually stand out when they intentionally practice innocence. Not that it doesn’t take hard work, and it certainly isn’t all about sexual innocence alone.

Innocence isn’t about never making mistakes, either, but about receiving grace to begin again, knowing that second chances are available.

Think about adults you know that display this super-attractive quality. What is it about them? And how do you get the same innocence yourself? Here are five suggestions based on the Five Doors of the Heart:

1.  Evaluate what you watch. Do you assess your screen time and content? Do you look at others with respect and compassion, or as objects for your use and benefit?

2.  Think about what (and who) you listen to. Do you listen to hours of negative or sad song lyrics? What are friends or family saying that helps or hurts you?

3.  Treat living things with kindness. Are you intentional in practicing kindness and in habits of giving, protecting or nurturing? Or is life mostly about you?

4.  Control your mouth. Are you speaking positively and steering clear of vulgarity and blaming? Or do you speak to get attention and power?

5.  Touch with great care. Sexual integrity is far from out of fashion. Do you treat touch as a privilege or as a right? Do you touch out of kindness or selfish gratification? Do you consider the families involved, or just you?

Innocence is beautiful in a child and in a grown-up. Take some time to review your adult habits today and think about how you might return to some more innocent practices. You and the world around you will be a better place because of it—guaranteed!

Children are undoubtedly amazing. But they are losing ground when it comes to the circumstances of their birth, parenting and development. The following blog suggests ten ways to bring the issue of the well-being of children into conversations that have to do with sexual issues at home or in adult conversations.

1. Sexual trafficking is one of the most popular causes to work against today. Include the issue of children born into those circumstances in conversation about the subject. What happens to the children of prostitutes? The possibilities should move us to compassion and action instead of never being mentioned.

2. When teaching our kids about "saving sex for marriage," we can make it clear that an important reason for abstinence is not to "prevent pregnancy" (as though it is a disease), but to be ready to make a safe family for a child that will likely be conceived. Every child deserves a home with a committed, loving mom and dad.

3. When we talk about the rights of gay couples, we can discuss the well-being of the child they may wish to adopt. Such a child is conceived by a mother and father but not raised by the two genders. Be brave and discuss the child's welfare.

4. Serve single moms. Set an example and let your kids help. Have an age-appropriate discussion about why single parenting is so hard. It's simply easier to raise a child with both parents and the child in one house. Don't speak out of judgment, but discuss the obvious difficulties and SERVE those going it alone.

5. Connect sexual activity with babies. Our children will most likely be exposed to some form of "making out" via modern media. Do they know that desire leads to baby-making? Many of today's adolescents don't even connect the two. Talk about using self-control and distance to protect a beautiful future child and family, not just virginity.

6. Connect children and adults with the fact that they were once babies. Obvious, of course - but consider the incredible gravity of considering that babies are constantly growing into US. They are small adults. They will order and create the world to come. Their early formative years are of paramount importance in their personalities and choices as adults. Let's remind each other.

7. Point out families with babies often. What are they doing to take care of the child? Is what they're doing hard? Ask your child when they think they will be ready to be a parent. Why? Why is parenting such an important, amazing deal?

8. Let families with children go first. We can teach our children that parents who have babies work hard and deserve support.

9. Have the hard conversations when families set bad examples. It's natural that such behavior may upset both you and your child. Talk about it. Why might the parent or child have behaved that way (we all have bad days)? Pray for parent(s) and child(ren) you saw. Talk about what actions would have been better. How might you feel if you became a parent but didn't plan to be?

10. Give to help children. Adults can often help themselves, but children can't. Give to your favorite children's charity, or sponsor a child through Compassion, or provide for a needy child in a local family.


Children don't have to be losers. We can help make them winners if we simply keep bringing them into our conversations. Especially when we're talking about our "sexual freedom," we can make the point that our adult lives aren't the only ones involved. We need to think of the little people. Our passion for the well-being of children will always reflect the health of our own hearts, and of our society as a whole.