Good news, parents! Once we understand that sexual integrity results from a pure heart, we recognize that we have a lot of freedom to talk about how to keep a heart clean waaaay before we start in on the birds and the bees. And it’s so easy, using a simple tool that is a key element of what we call Planned Purity: The Five Doors of the Heart.
You can make your own Five Doors poster just like the one in the picture. We make hundreds of them to use in the US and on international trips as well.
When we teach little guys and gals, we explain that our hearts have five doors, and they are our senses. They lead right to our hearts. So what we decide to let in or keep out is what makes us the kind of person we are: selfish or a servant.
Our children need the reminder to close their eyes to bad things and open them to good things. Then we can keep pointing out what those things are and explaining why as they come up. (Avoid the “big talk” misnomer and go for the “long conversation.”)
The same for the ears. We close our ears to bad things, and open them to good things. Even our preschoolers know that there are some pretty nasty song lyrics out there.
We relate the sense of smell to our breath. We honor, respect and protect anything that lives and breathes. We nurture plants, care for pets, and love on babies and old people and those who seem “different.”
Then there’s that pesky mouth. Obviously, we open our mouths to say good things and close them to keep from saying bad things. You get to define what the bad things are.
The sense of touch at this stage is as easy as a little sing-songy saying: “No hitting, no kicking, lots of hugs!” Of course, privacy can be taught, too, so that a child knows they have the right to say “no” to touch.
Have fun teaching the Five Doors to your kids, and start now. They’ve already seen and heard more than you think. And what’s cool is this: when they get to the age of having more interest in the opposite sex, you can get the poster out again, and use the s-e-x word.
But that's another blog. :)