The first question that comes to mind may be—“What IS that?” After all, innocence is something we associate with children. But adults actually stand out when they intentionally practice innocence. Not that it doesn’t take hard work, and it certainly isn’t all about sexual innocence alone.

Innocence isn’t about never making mistakes, either, but about receiving grace to begin again, knowing that second chances are available.

Think about adults you know that display this super-attractive quality. What is it about them? And how do you get the same innocence yourself? Here are five suggestions based on the Five Doors of the Heart:

1.  Evaluate what you watch. Do you assess your screen time and content? Do you look at others with respect and compassion, or as objects for your use and benefit?

2.  Think about what (and who) you listen to. Do you listen to hours of negative or sad song lyrics? What are friends or family saying that helps or hurts you?

3.  Treat living things with kindness. Are you intentional in practicing kindness and in habits of giving, protecting or nurturing? Or is life mostly about you?

4.  Control your mouth. Are you speaking positively and steering clear of vulgarity and blaming? Or do you speak to get attention and power?

5.  Touch with great care. Sexual integrity is far from out of fashion. Do you treat touch as a privilege or as a right? Do you touch out of kindness or selfish gratification? Do you consider the families involved, or just you?

Innocence is beautiful in a child and in a grown-up. Take some time to review your adult habits today and think about how you might return to some more innocent practices. You and the world around you will be a better place because of it—guaranteed!

Children are undoubtedly amazing. But they are losing ground when it comes to the circumstances of their birth, parenting and development. The following blog suggests ten ways to bring the issue of the well-being of children into conversations that have to do with sexual issues at home or in adult conversations.

1. Sexual trafficking is one of the most popular causes to work against today. Include the issue of children born into those circumstances in conversation about the subject. What happens to the children of prostitutes? The possibilities should move us to compassion and action instead of never being mentioned.

2. When teaching our kids about "saving sex for marriage," we can make it clear that an important reason for abstinence is not to "prevent pregnancy" (as though it is a disease), but to be ready to make a safe family for a child that will likely be conceived. Every child deserves a home with a committed, loving mom and dad.

3. When we talk about the rights of gay couples, we can discuss the well-being of the child they may wish to adopt. Such a child is conceived by a mother and father but not raised by the two genders. Be brave and discuss the child's welfare.

4. Serve single moms. Set an example and let your kids help. Have an age-appropriate discussion about why single parenting is so hard. It's simply easier to raise a child with both parents and the child in one house. Don't speak out of judgment, but discuss the obvious difficulties and SERVE those going it alone.

5. Connect sexual activity with babies. Our children will most likely be exposed to some form of "making out" via modern media. Do they know that desire leads to baby-making? Many of today's adolescents don't even connect the two. Talk about using self-control and distance to protect a beautiful future child and family, not just virginity.

6. Connect children and adults with the fact that they were once babies. Obvious, of course - but consider the incredible gravity of considering that babies are constantly growing into US. They are small adults. They will order and create the world to come. Their early formative years are of paramount importance in their personalities and choices as adults. Let's remind each other.

7. Point out families with babies often. What are they doing to take care of the child? Is what they're doing hard? Ask your child when they think they will be ready to be a parent. Why? Why is parenting such an important, amazing deal?

8. Let families with children go first. We can teach our children that parents who have babies work hard and deserve support.

9. Have the hard conversations when families set bad examples. It's natural that such behavior may upset both you and your child. Talk about it. Why might the parent or child have behaved that way (we all have bad days)? Pray for parent(s) and child(ren) you saw. Talk about what actions would have been better. How might you feel if you became a parent but didn't plan to be?

10. Give to help children. Adults can often help themselves, but children can't. Give to your favorite children's charity, or sponsor a child through Compassion, or provide for a needy child in a local family.


Children don't have to be losers. We can help make them winners if we simply keep bringing them into our conversations. Especially when we're talking about our "sexual freedom," we can make the point that our adult lives aren't the only ones involved. We need to think of the little people. Our passion for the well-being of children will always reflect the health of our own hearts, and of our society as a whole.

This week a local gathering was held with a child expert who mentioned the distressing fact that many parents are not speaking to their young children about sexuality at all. They don't have a plan except waiting until the teen years, or until trouble arises.

What happens in the meantime? 

Advertising, explicit music and videos, sexually charged sitcoms, Planned Parenthood and Google searches linked to deviant behavior fill in the blanks, daily, with inaccurate and even shocking material. Our silence leads our kids to find answers elsewhere. Their understanding of sexuality is formed by a culture where pornography is mainstream, and their sense of modesty, respect and privacy is numbed, sometimes irreparably.

So if we need to start talking now, what do we say? 

• Start with a smile. Welcome your child's questions. If the question relates to something sexual, remember that the body and sexuality are beautiful. Your child is curious. Honor their curiosity with a welcoming demeanor, and keep answers brief.
• Start with the facts. And JUST the facts ... in the context of the events of everyday life. Teach the accurate names of body parts, and answer questions simply, matter-of-factly. (Scripts in Planned Purity for parents below can help!)
• Start with the heart. Focus on the formation of virtue and character. Conversations about character and unselfishness naturally build bridges to discussions about sexual integrity as a child grows.

The five senses (what we call the Five Doors) are our children's windows to the world, but also the key to maintaining hearts of virtue. When kids learn that they can choose to open or close these "doors" to keep their hearts clean, a conversation begins. From there, an engaged parent can open discussions of sexuality naturally, over time, instead of being squeezed into one impossible "big talk."

Don't be silent anymore. Your child is already being taught. The question is, by whom? Let it be you, always.

Start now, and start with the heart. PARENTS have the power to keep children safe.