Children are undoubtedly amazing. But they are losing ground when it comes to the circumstances of their birth, parenting and development. The following blog suggests ten ways to bring the issue of the well-being of children into conversations that have to do with sexual issues at home or in adult conversations.

1. Sexual trafficking is one of the most popular causes to work against today. Include the issue of children born into those circumstances in conversation about the subject. What happens to the children of prostitutes? The possibilities should move us to compassion and action instead of never being mentioned.

2. When teaching our kids about "saving sex for marriage," we can make it clear that an important reason for abstinence is not to "prevent pregnancy" (as though it is a disease), but to be ready to make a safe family for a child that will likely be conceived. Every child deserves a home with a committed, loving mom and dad.

3. When we talk about the rights of gay couples, we can discuss the well-being of the child they may wish to adopt. Such a child is conceived by a mother and father but not raised by the two genders. Be brave and discuss the child's welfare.

4. Serve single moms. Set an example and let your kids help. Have an age-appropriate discussion about why single parenting is so hard. It's simply easier to raise a child with both parents and the child in one house. Don't speak out of judgment, but discuss the obvious difficulties and SERVE those going it alone.

5. Connect sexual activity with babies. Our children will most likely be exposed to some form of "making out" via modern media. Do they know that desire leads to baby-making? Many of today's adolescents don't even connect the two. Talk about using self-control and distance to protect a beautiful future child and family, not just virginity.

6. Connect children and adults with the fact that they were once babies. Obvious, of course - but consider the incredible gravity of considering that babies are constantly growing into US. They are small adults. They will order and create the world to come. Their early formative years are of paramount importance in their personalities and choices as adults. Let's remind each other.

7. Point out families with babies often. What are they doing to take care of the child? Is what they're doing hard? Ask your child when they think they will be ready to be a parent. Why? Why is parenting such an important, amazing deal?

8. Let families with children go first. We can teach our children that parents who have babies work hard and deserve support.

9. Have the hard conversations when families set bad examples. It's natural that such behavior may upset both you and your child. Talk about it. Why might the parent or child have behaved that way (we all have bad days)? Pray for parent(s) and child(ren) you saw. Talk about what actions would have been better. How might you feel if you became a parent but didn't plan to be?

10. Give to help children. Adults can often help themselves, but children can't. Give to your favorite children's charity, or sponsor a child through Compassion, or provide for a needy child in a local family.


Children don't have to be losers. We can help make them winners if we simply keep bringing them into our conversations. Especially when we're talking about our "sexual freedom," we can make the point that our adult lives aren't the only ones involved. We need to think of the little people. Our passion for the well-being of children will always reflect the health of our own hearts, and of our society as a whole.

A number of moms have commented that they want to raise “nice” boys, and although I get what they may mean, the statement always gives me pause.

Do we need more nice boys? Or do we need men who can handle conflict, get dirty, ask hard questions, command respect, even fight? 

Can a man do the hard stuff that makes him the pillar of a family and of society?

Not that women aren’t strong, or that men don’t need to be courteous or sensitive. I agree that women need to recover their femininity, but that by no means makes us weak. But we’re not men. And men don’t have a license to be boorish. But they’re not women, either. Even though we might push them in that direction.

Men and women are not the same, in body or in emotional makeup. Science proves it. No matter how our culture tries to convince us to pursue androgyny and perfect equality, we need manly men and feminine women, or we’re missing something.

Our kids are missing something.

The lack of present fathers is epidemic now in America. The boys we raise will have to be strong enough to take fatherhood back, and to know what it means and how it looks even if they haven’t seen it in their homes. How?

You can start with The Squire and the Scroll storybook I wrote and follow up with the Life Lessons for ages 8-12. Better yet, get a group of dads and sons to do the study together, and finish out with the suggested rite of passage ceremony. Build a community of boys with men to follow.

Make intentional efforts to return to nobility. Take a look at Raising a Modern Day Knight on Amazon. Let your boys skin their knees and get dirty (let them EAT dirt, for that matter), and encourage them to work hard, physically and intellectually. Get the older guys into Wild at Heart and similar studies/activities. Scouts or Trail Life can help, too.

And maybe watch the movie Open Range, or The Greatest Game Ever Played, or Second Hand Lions. If they’re more the creative type, let them watch Switchfoot’s Fading West, with surfing and songwriting. Those movies start great conversations about what a man should be.

And remember, if you’re raising boys, to consider the grown-ups they’ll become. 

After all, boys won’t be boys—boys will be men.

My name is Jennie. I’m in purity recovery. How about you?

Maybe it seems odd to you to see a PurityWorks logo that seems kind of dark and fantastic, and not something glowing and white (I did have the designers add sparkles on one version). But the pursuit of purity isn’t all white and perfect.

When The Princess and the Kiss became a best-seller, everyone was so excited about the story because it seemed to celebrate saving an actual “first kiss” for marriage.

That’s a noble undertaking physically. But I kept talking to people who were broken because they hadn’t saved their kisses and felt disqualified from purity because of it.

No one is disqualified from being pure, no matter what they’ve done. Period. If they were, I’d have to step down from leading this organization. I didn’t save my kiss. I’ve lied. I’ve stolen. I’ve ignored my children and refused my husband. But in my heart, I want to be truly pure. I’m learning to surrender my heart, and getting stronger. We all can.

The meaning of purity is so much broader than the Princess’ physical restraint in the book. Purity was never exclusively about kisses or sex. Purity is first and foremost a condition of the heart, and anyone who falls to their knees can approach it.

To win the fight for purity (and it IS a fight), we have to start with the heart. That’s where our life comes from. That’s why PurityWorks was formed and the Planned Purity system of training was developed—to break out of the traditional “sexual purity for teenagers” model. Our kids have to avoid good behaviors that only hide a heart that really doesn’t care about anyone else. That can never lead to purity, sexual or otherwise.

I, you, and our children need to know how important purity is, and also how to fail, find forgiveness, and forgive others. We need a sense of humor, a little more humanity and a lot more transparency.

I love you for reading. I love you for loving The Princess. Let’s go a little deeper and have a little fun. Are you in?